Finding myself

I realized that I have been spending the last two years finding myself, trying to determine who I really am, trying to bring back that spunky hell-fire little 5 yr old. I thought I was growing, learning, and healing. But I’m looking to find out who I am. Because I don’t know who I am. Who I am has to come from inside of me. It had nothing to do with those I love or what I do. It’s all about the inside of me. Before I can give myself to somebody, before I can help the girls find themselves, before I can tell the world to kiss my a**, I have to tell them who I am.

I have to learn how to be comfortable being unbalanced. I have to forgive myself. I have to enjoy life. I have to do things for me because I want to do it. I must face my fears. I must control my thoughts. I must let go and lose control. I must open my heart and leave it open.