Shush child, or they’ll feel your pain


I just recalled a moment when I was chastising my daughter and she started to cry. I told her to stop crying because the situation wasn’t bad enough to cry about. (You know, “I’ll give you something to cry about.”) From that recollection, I wondered why did I said that. I thought to myself, “I said it to strengthen and harden her for an unfair life, that we experience particularly as blacks”.

As blacks, We rarely let our kids cry, act up, or wild out. We don’t let our kids be vulnerable, or let their guard down. But yet other kids have the freedom to throw tantrums in stores, rip run all over the place, and ask embarrassing questions. But we insist that own kids be good little children.

Is this some kind of conditioning that has been passed own generation to generation from slavery? If we had good lil’ children perhaps the Master would not notice them or want to not sell them? I can clearly imagine a house slave mother telling her whining 2-year-old to hush before the master hears him. So as such, we condition our children to stay quiet, push down the pain, and save it for later. But all too often, later never comes.

This reminds me of an article that stated that people don’t sympathize with the pain blacks feel. Not even other black people. Is it because we blacks have harden ourselves to the pain so we don’t feel it and therefore think other blacks don’t feel pain either? Is it because we have told ourselves to suffer in silence so people don’t realize we are in pain? But by not talking about it or showing our pain – has it become a self-fulfilling cycle?

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