When you conceive a child, a piece of your life force, your energy, gives life to the fetus. And when it is born, your energy now exists outside of you. You can hug it, hold it, feel it. It’s what connects the two of you. When you have an abortion though, that energy is lost. You can never reclaim it. A piece of you is gone forever. So when you are considering having an abortion ask yourself, “Are you ready to destroy a piece of yourself?”
I am not advocating for or against abortions. I am expressing the consequences that comes with having one, that come with making that choice. I have been there. I know the nights spent crying trying to decide what to do. The back and forth debate in your mind of hopeful dreams and face-smacking realities. The anxiety of the waiting room, trying to find ways to distract yourself from thinking about it. The count backwards from 20 until you feel the anesthesia take over. The grogginess you feel as the anesthesia wears off. The incredible rush of sadness once you arrive home knowing that it’s all over and never to be.
I do wish I did not have to be in the situation to choose. I do wish my life could have been where there was only one option. But I don’t regret my choice. Had I done otherwise, my kids would not be who they are. In my case, regretting my decision would mean regretting my kids, which I can’t. They are the best things to happen to me. Had I chosen otherwise, I would not have gotten the job that allowed me to get off of public assistance. Had I chosen otherwise, I would have continued to deal with a toxic partner and would have continued to consider suicide. Some people come into our lives to teach us lessons and make us better people. I am eternally grateful to these little angels for their sacrifice to make me a better me.
For some, the prospect of having a child is like being handcuffed. Many people are quite happy being handcuffed. But some aren’t. For whatever reason, they cannot be handcuffed right now. But the only way to become free from the handcuffs is to cut off your hand. And some do that. Being handcuffed is so horrible, so difficult, so life ending, that they are willing to cut off their hand. They will live without that hand for the rest of their life, a piece of them gone forever. The stub at the end of their arm is a continuous reminder of the choice they made.
And then, they must live with the mockery and hate of others. Those who feel better than them because their life presents them with the prospect of making the other choice. Those who make them feel criminal and unworthy although they have already paid the price of their choice. This is what we live with. Before you have an abortion, are you ready to pay the price? Are you ready to live the rest of your life with your decision?