Parenting is like dancing

Parenting is like dancing. You, the parent, are the lead and your job is to teach and guide your child in learning the steps to the dance. But, your child controls the music.

Often, when you have finally figured out which song you’re dancing to, what the steps are to this dance, and have gotten the two of you in sync with the music, they change the song. Then you have to do it all over again.

Not to mention, one child’s tango is not the same as another’s, the next child may not play the same songs the previous one played, and they are usually playing different songs at the same time.

Frustrating? Yes, very much so.

Rewarding? When you and your child are fully in sync, moving gracefully to the music like Fred and Ginger – Yes, most definitely YES! 🙂

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Why I left my job of 12 years

fallorfly3 years ago, I knew that I was leaving but I didn’t know exactly when. 1-3 years is what I told my manager. By last year, I had planned to wait until 2018 – after my younger kid graduated. But came January, I knew that it was time to go.

Why did I leave the job I had for 12 years? It wasn’t the pay (I made almost 6 figures); I wasn’t stagnant in my career (I had received 3 promotions); and the benefits are awesome compared to other places. No, it was more than that: Continue reading

Own your anger

di8xxRn5TThis isn’t about forgiveness. This is about looking at the real cause of your anger. When someone does something that really angers you, ask yourself “Why are you angry?” What is going on with you that you feel so angry about what happened? Had they done that in a different situation, might you not have been angry? So why is it bothering you now?

Here’s an example I experienced a few years back: Continue reading

Kid Moments #2

Nae: There’s no state with the letter Q in it’s name.
Me: Yes, that’s true.
Ni: There’s none with the letter Z.
Me: Arizona.
Ni: Oh, I thought that was an S. What about B?
Me: Nebraska.
Nae: Boston.
Ni: That’s not a state.
Nae: It’s not?
Me: Where is Boston?
Ni & Nae: *blank stare*
Nae: Texas?
Ni: No, that’s Austin.
Me: (shaking my head, thinking how I’ve failed them) 


Mature Blogging

I have been reading over my past blog posts. I’ve come to realized two things:

  • I write really well when I’m hurt or learning
  • I was really hurting and learning back then

Does this mean that I’m not writing well now or that I’m not hurting and learning now? Well, the answer is yes and no. Because I’m human I am always learning, but I think the lessons now are not as profound as they were. Now I’m learning life’s best practices like “Oh look, there’s pitfall. How shall I avoid it?” rather than “Oh Shit! Where did that big-ass hole come from?” I can see the pitfalls now. Back then, I didn’t know what a pitfall was.

My writing is also from a different place now; a more grown up and adult place. I can deal with the hurts much better now; I know that I won’t die from them so my reaction is not so extreme. And that may not make for such exciting posts.

It also doesn’t help that my time isn’t a free as it was. I don’t have much free time to think let alone time to write. And when those juicy thoughts do come to mind, I often find that I’m too busy to write them down. Unfortunately, my older mind can’t hold onto them too long and they end up slipping away.

But as we know, life is an adventurous journey. At some point, I will be revisited by hurt and will have more learning to do. Till then, please enjoy my more mature but mellow posts.


7 years

649abebf66672017badbaf51fbb4c43bWow, it’s been 7 years. 7 years since I closed one major chapter and started another. 7 years since I left that insecure girl behind and start my journey to become a confident woman. 7 years since I said enough is enough an unlocked my self-imposed cage and freed myself. 7 years.

7 years ago I made a decision that terrified me. There were so many potential repercussions that I would have rather avoided. I had no idea how we would make it or if we would. What would happen if we had to go back to the ways things were? It would have been easier to not do anything and stay as I was. But the fear of things staying the same strongly outweighed the fear of any of those repercussions.

And in those 7 years I have struggled. Struggled in ways I never would have dreamed of. But I have also grown. I have grown in ways I never thought I could. And I am so amazed and proud of where and who I am now. A pride that eluded me 7 years ago. A pride that I had felt was for other people. A pride that carries me forward to do more and be more. My heart, my soul, my whole being is so happy, grateful, and thankful for that decision 7 years ago.

I am eternally grateful to my knights in shining armor who help me around the corner that day. You know who you are. I didn’t know who would come help but you did. And they have continued to be there for me as I for them.

I say this for those who are struggling with a big decision. It is terrifying. You don’t know who may be there for you and who won’t. But when the thought of things staying the same scares you more than making the change, you will do it. And you will not only live through it, you will come out on the other side much much stronger, wiser, and better for it.

Parents, Teens, and Internet Safety

A fun-filled presentation on internet dangers, social media, and online privacy.

Source: Parents, Teens, and Internet Safety | Life’s Digital Bits

This is an online version of a presentation I gave at my high school alma mater. The presentation discusses internet dangers, social media, and online privacy issues for both teens and parents. Some of the dangers in here I have personally lived through with my teens. Others, I am grateful that I have not experienced them.

My hope is to give a balanced view of internet safety so that parents and teens can see eye to eye on keeping each other safe.

Check it out and tell me what you think in the comments.